For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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