dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
