I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
