Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
