Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
