I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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