My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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