Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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