sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
