I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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