it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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