I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
