Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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