Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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