its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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