Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize