i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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