I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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