Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
