My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
