Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
