I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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