My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
