...so i touched it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
