My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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