K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
