singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
