Pants 0. Shit 1.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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