I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
