I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
