im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
then he tried to convert me to islam
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
