don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
