My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
