I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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