dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
