I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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