OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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