I'm so fucking centered right now
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
