Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
