At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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