This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
