Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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