im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
