Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
