last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
