put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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