yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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