I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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