How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
