look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
