and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
