i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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