Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
