I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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