ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
