shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
