wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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