When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
