Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
