He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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