Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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