Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
