my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
