I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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