We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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