Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
do nipples grow back?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
