i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
