I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
